I..

I am not sure if I know how to fit in. How to be social.

That is all.

It takes a lot of energy to remind myself of my choice.
And I've second doubted myself many, many times.

And then somebody calls them a "bunch of two faced cutthroat people"¹ and I'm momentarily reminded of why I chose this and I remember that when he sees me he sees "a strong person who won't automatically break down when certain events don't fall into place."²

And there you go, that's my motivation. What keeps me going. Must remind self or I may just have a public break down one of these days. The sad thing is that people will probably just stare and go on with their lives. That's what I get for seeming indifferent, right?

Learned a lot today at church. About what a church is. It was an enriching lesson.

1. Hey, black v-necks suit you.
2. You're quite adorable. In the awkward, boy-ish way.